Day 28. Panic at the Disco?

ooh... THAT's not country music at all! I am familiar with one song by Panic at the Disco and not because I like it, but because it somehow made the mixed CD that was played at the pool at camp.

Don't watch this video:



I told you to not watch that video! Its got a swearword in it! But, that is the Panic at the Disco song that I am familiar with, (it shouldn't have been played at camp, but, I didn't actually work there in 2006 when this video was recorded, so, not a whole lot I could do about it.)

Anyhue... word of the day is "Panic".

I, uh, think I surprised a friend of mine yesterday by having a fairly intense panic attack in front of her. Its not exactly the most fun thing in the world to endure, but I knew what was going on because this isn't the first time I've had one, so it was just a matter of waiting it out. Unfortunately for me, this one lasted a ridiculously long time and I was still feeling the effects of it today - they can be horrendously exhausting!

If you're reading this and thinking "weird! I didn't know Amy had anxiety 'issues'", don't worry about it - its something I've managed to keep relatively under control since I was a little kid. It doesn't happen all that often, and 99% of the time there is a direct link to some sort of stress involved. I'm pretty convinced that I don't have any sort of 'disorder', I just suffer from a bit of anxiety and panic once in awhile - just like about 50% of the population. Woohoo!

I've heard more than one story of people having such sudden and sever panic attacks that they actually think they're having a heart attack. I believe it. Had I not known what was going on yesterday, I would have been very, very concerned - the feeling of an elephant sitting on your chest, heart beating so fast that it might very well explode, sweaty hands, cold sweats.

During my afternoon break at work today, since I wasn't having a whole lot of success at being productive anyway, I found this little tidbit on the Anxiety Disorder Association of Canada website:

A Panic Attack is diagnosed when four or more of the following symptoms appear together. These symptoms include:

1. Shortness of breath or smothering sensations
2. Dizziness, unsteady feelings, or faintness
3. Palpitations or accelerated heart rate
4. Trembling or shaking
5. Sweating
6. Choking
7. Nausea or abdominal distress
8. Depersonalization- feeling that your own body is unreal- or derealization- feeling that your environment is not real
9. Numbness or tingling sensations in one or more parts of your body
10. Hot flashes or chills
11. Chest pain or discomfort
12. Fear of dying
13. Fear of going crazy or losing self- control
14. Feeling a need to escape
15. Having a feeling of imminent doom or danger

Yesterday was by far the worst panic attack I've had in a long time. I was experiencing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, not 8 but I have felt that one in the past, 9, 10, 11, 14, and 15. Eleven of 15 symptoms - cool eh?! I don't wish it on anyone.

If there is any humour to be had in this at all it is found in symptom #4, my personal favourite, 'trembling or shaking'. Hahaha... oh dear. Gives me away every time - my hands shake. My right one more than my left for some reason. Its particularly amusing (for people watching me) if I have a drink sitting infront of me. I will eventually try to drink that drink even though I know that shaking hands = disaster. It typically takes both my shaking hands to even get the glass to my lips, and then if I manage to not spill it all over the place, I will at least bash the glass on my teeth! Go ahead and laugh, I am.

Ok, well, that's far too much for one day,
Keep your stick on the ice!