Essay 2.0

In response to a blog, to a blog, to comments on a blog, and kittens...

GAH!!! Fine.

Obviously, people think too much. ALL people think too much - and it has nothing to do with Dawson's Creek. So if TV isn't to blame then it must be a direct result of the Fall of Man (that's right - just like the fear of abandonment). Think about THAT!

There's stupid neanderthal Adam out bumming around in the Garden of Eden without a care in the world, enjoying life, basking in the sun, chatting with God, making out with Eve (probably more than that, they didn't wear clothes after all). And then he did it. He ate the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil. (Go ahead, argue with me about who's fault that really was - Eve handed it to him, the snake insisted, whatever, I really don't care. The fact is it happened, literally or not, I don't really care about that either, the lesson is still the same.)

And suddenly, Adam had a conscience and could grasp the realities of good and evil. And for the first time, Adam realized that life wasn't all candy and lollipops! He was going to have to spend the rest of his life working his ass off trying to provide for his wife and ever-expanding family! Not to mention the fact that he was soon going to be homeless, and there were probably dinosaurs outside the walls of the Garden of Eden to contend with! And then he realized the most disgusting thing of all - he was naked! NAKED!! What the hell??! Speaking of hell, where's that stupid snake? Time to tromp on his head.

So Adam did what every single person on the planet has been doing ever since - he took all his thoughts and feelings and worries and nakedness, and covered it all up. Buried it deep inside, under layers and layers, so that none of it could escape. Ever.

Well guess what kids? Its a new day. This is the Dawning of the age of Aquarius after all, an age of knowledge and freedom of expression. Dare I even use the term 'postmodernism'?. Time to peel back those layers and explore the inner workings of the mind, to let your thoughts run free, and openly explore your vulnerabilities and nakedness with your friends, or even that creepy stalker on facebook. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?!

I come from a long line of very quite, very introverted people who pride themselves in their abilities to bottle their thoughts and emotions. Good Lord! Talk about how we feel? Are you crazy?! We don't even give out hugs, or say 'I love you', or get excited about Christmas! But the world has flipped that upside down, broken our bottles, and given us platforms and audiences for which to openly, and quite publicly, delve into the deep-seated emotions within: drama-filled TV shows, long rambling blogs, therapists, coffee houses, Post Secret, Twitter, those stupid quizzes all over facebook, - all feeding off this new need to share our innermost thoughts and horribly confusing feelings with the world!

But is it necessary?! Is it necessary? NO. And quiet honestly, I'm starting to think that it tends to cause more trouble than it can fix.

Chew on this for a bit:

¹⁶So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. (Luke 2)

Mary just spent 9 months of her life being scared out of her mind that she was going to be stoned to death for being pregnant without being married (virgin - yeah right!), takes who-knows-how-long to walk to Bethlehem because of the stupid government, just before giving birth in a dirty old barn, beside a donkey, to a baby who, what angels, angels, have told her is the Son of GOD, and then a bunch of smelly shepherds come waltzing in (wouldn't that be pleasant? Sure boys, come on it! I just pushed a football out of my backside and feel like throwing up, and you guys smell like sheep crap, but yeah, lets have a party!), all hooting and hollering and waking up said newborn baby.

And what does Mary do?? She doesn't write a blog about her feelings, she doesn't call the local newspaper to sell her story, she doesn't spend the next six months laying on her psychiatrist's couch, she doesn't go crying to her mother, she doesn't even get pissed off and scream at Joseph! No. She 'treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart'.

Now, I'm all for open and honest communication, and once in awhile feelings just have to be shared, but for Pete's sake! Everyone's lives don't have to be a daily docu-drama spelled out on the internet for everyone else to read! Sometimes, you just need to ponder things in your heart(not on a blog); give them to God(not your friends/stalkers) and let Him sort it out for you(instead of making a bigger, messier, mess).

So when I say, 'What if we're getting so caught up in the little bits & pieces of life that we're missing the grander picture?', what I mean is that maybe we're over thinking things and just need to let that all go, trust God for just a moment that He actually has things under control, and ENJOY the beautiful simplicities of LIFE!

I considered going for a walk in the rain last night; I wish I had.
I also considered turning off the comments for this particular post - don't make me regret that decision too.

Thus endith the profound blog writing.

Essay this

You ever feel like we sometimes get too caught up in over thinking things? Like, it makes us feel smarter if we analyze every little aspect of every little day, or write giant long blogs about the random thought processes we have while driving? What if we're getting so caught up in the little bits & pieces of life that we're missing the grander picture?

My pa never watched Dawson's Creek when it was on. He said it was a stupid show because teenaged kids don't talk like that, or have such complicated lives as that, or suffer so much angst. But then a whole generation of kids grew up watching Dawson's Creek thinking that's how life should be, that its normal to have crazy lives filled with drama, so we all grew up and got blogs and started creating soap operas out of our own lives! Stupid tv, look what you've done to us.

I'm tired of feeling like I always have to have something profound to say on this thing. I'm ready to put the over-thinking-cap aside for awhile and just have some silly fun.

In other news, this humid weather has made my secondhand couch smell sort of like the furball animal that obviously used to live on it. Anyone have a magic couch cleaning potion?

Here's your essay

So apparently, the consensus is that my blog readers actually want to read a long, rambling essay (as long as its not about them)! Well... no pressure, eh? I said I MIGHT write something, not definitely will write something! Shesh. I've been busy doing other things and that makes me not care so much about taking the time to write anything of any significance. But... Here we go anyway:


I have decided that the fear of abandonment is a universal fear, and that it must be rooted in the fall of man.


Ok, that's all you're getting. For now anyway. There is a very important hockey game on and I don't especially feel like delving into this idea that I have right at the moment. Come back another day.

Awesome

I've stumbled across a blog, and am now following it on a regular basis. The site is called 1000 Awesome Things; the premise is that, each weekday, the author adds one new seemingly everyday thing that is awesome - a small moment of awesome for each day. Some of the things are stupid, but some of the things make you go, 'yeah, that is awesome!'

So, I'd like to add a couple of my own things to the awesome list:

- That cool sound a pot of water makes when you accidentally clink it on the tap in the sink.

-

...ok, so there's only one. I had something else but I can't remember what it is anymore. It would be really awesome to actually remember a thought long enough to write it down!

OOOOH!! I REMEMBER!! And it IS awesome: Opening up your email expecting to find nothing, (or worse - spam), but instead finding an email from that one person you were really hoping would send you a message! Awesome.

Also, doing random searches on internet dating sites and accidently finding people you know! lol

And, one for the road, that sweet sound of silence after a screaming baby finally falls asleep.



As for the not-blogging-in-a-while thing, I just spent 3 fun-filled days visiting some friends in our nation's capital. It was fun, and relaxing, I didn't touch a computer at all during those 3 days, and I'm still alive to tell the story. My drive home however gave me plenty of time to think, and when I think, bad things usually happen. I'm still trying to decide if it's a blog-worthy subject; if so, I'm afraid it will be more akin to a long rambling essay than fun little blog entry. Consider yourself warned.

Things I've learned from the weekend

1. It is entirely possible to hike 50km in 3 days (30km all in one day) with 25lbs of gear on your back. But I don't plan to ever do it again. EVER. But it was an experience and I'm glad to be able to say I've done it.
2. Climbing to the highest elevation of the Bruce Trail is an accomplishment. Doing it 3 or 4 times in a single day is ... painful.
   
3. A group can only hike as fast as the slowest hiker. That would be me.
4. Fire is a wonderful thing. It cooks your food, it keeps you warm, it dries your wet clothes. It also melts your boots if you aren't careful. I am now a member of the 'Singed Shoe Club' - it adds character to the boots...
5. My boots saved me from rolling my ankles, and smashing my toes on tree stumps, a number of times. They also made my big toes go numb (a permanent sort of numb), made my feet sweat a lot, and caused a number of blisters. I hope these problems can be solved with decent insoles and better shoe-tying techniques. I am convinced that it is not the quality of the boot but my feet that are causing the problems.
   
6. Moleskin is not sticky enough to stay in one place on a sweaty foot and therefore is not an effective blister deterrent. Fabric band-aids work 100x better.
   
7. The back of my heel, where I thought I was going to get giant blisters, is not where I got giant blisters. The ones that hurt the most form on the joint under the big toe - I wasn't expecting that.
   
8. While gimping around trying to not walk on giant blisters because they hurt too much, I effectively gave myself more blisters. Yay me.
9. Trekking Poles might look stupid, but I'm a fan and was leaning on them quite a lot by the end of the weekend!
10. Mummy bags are warm, but having an extra person's body heat inside the tent really makes a lot of difference.
11. Rain makes you wet, and wind is chilly, but it keeps the bugs away!
12. Kleenex is more important than you might think.
13. Advil is the breakfast of champions.
14. The proper balance of cheese and dried apricots should have a balancing effect in your digestive system.
    
15. Outhouses along the trail never have properly latching doors.
    
16. All that backpack weight sitting properly on my hips eventually made my hips & knees scream in pain, but my shoulders didn't hurt at all!
17. 
18. Friends make the trip. It doesn't matter what you're doing - it matters who you're with. (it was a good bunch)
19. I'd rather walk in the bush than on the road, even if that means precariously stepping over rocks, sloshing through mud, and avoiding hawthorns & other prickly plants.
    
20. Cameras are great, but they don't capture the real beauty of God's creation. Go, see, do - experience it for yourself.

Making Tracks

So, I went hiking this past weekend with a bunch of friends. We had a great time, but we all agree that we pushed it a little too far the second day in and have some pretty battered bodies because of it. I'm not going to talk about the trip right now though, because I'm tired and might very well go to bed before it even gets dark out!

However, I just want to note that, while in ... Ok, I don't know where we were - Devil's Glen I guess, we had to climb up the escarpment through the ski resort. I can now say that I have been on a black diamond ski run! (I walked UP it, and it was brutal)

Upon our ascent up this black diamond run, we passed a sign that said something to the effect of 'Caution: Predatory Animals are active in this area' or something like that... I didn't actually see the sign myself.

I did however see a very large animal track a few minutes later and am now absolutely kicking myself that none of the four of us standing around looking at it thought to take a picture of it! We all sort of just assumed that it was the front paw print of a small black bear and continued walking. BUT.... I'm reconsidering.

This is a black bear print:

Its got 5 toes, and usually leaves claw marks. Google it, you'll see lots of examples.

What we saw did not have 5 toes. It had 4 toes.










It looked a whole lot more like this:


That's not a bear... that's a big cat. BIG cat.
That, or we've been had by a really big dog with no claws.
What do I know? I'm no expert. But I'll probably stick with the cougar story.

Talking 'Shack' with George

So, earlier today, Jacob Moon updated his facebook status (yes, I am facebook friends with him) saying that the author of The Shack, Mr William P Young, was on The Hour last night.

I haven't watched it yet, I just want somewhere safe to put the link to the video so that I will remember to watch it later - probably next week, after my fun-filled weekend of hiking.

Is this fan fiction?

Seth Grahame-Smith Eat your heart out - my blog's been zombie-fied!

The original laundromat blog from the other day is here.

The zombie-fied blog is here. Way to go Dave, I LOL'd.

Brain... shorting.... out... Gah!

So, the other day, a certain teenaged friend of mine watched me pick up a book at his house and read the back cover of it. He immediately suggested that I take it home with me and read it myself, since he was done with it anyway. Its not a novel, it doesn't have anything to do with zombies - actually, its a 30 day devotional.

I don't usually do the devotional thing. Over the years I have developed a strange and cynical view of curriculum: Sunday School curriculum, Youth group curriculum, bible study curriculum... devotionals which claim to 'turn your life around it 30 days or your money back' tend to fall into this category. I guess... I don't know... I've sort of discovered this feeling that there is a fine line between drilling faith into a person with rules and lessons and structure, and allowing faith to grow naturally through relationship and self discovery, and, I generally don't like the drilling part. Anyway... I'm rambling.

What was my point? Oh, right. I took the devotional home with me. I thought, hey, if this teenaged kid thinks I should read this book, then I can give it a shot - its not going to hurt me. (Actually, I think what he really wanted was for me to write all my deep emotional secrets in it so that when I give it back to him, he'll have something entertaining to read!)

Its not an awful book. One page of devotion for each day, followed by a few life application questions and some room to journal if you so choose (I choose not). Its pretty surface level stuff - nothing too deep. Definitely meant for the teenie-bopper audience.

And then - It happened... Right there at the bottom of the page the author used the word 'than' instead of 'then'. Ironically enough, this was the page in which he explained that he had graduated from journalizm college and works for a magazine.

I pretty much put the book down right then and haven't opened it since. I.... I can't focus on the thoughts and ideas of the book while I'm looking for more glaring grammar errors! I just can't do it. And I can't turn my brain off either, it just does it, always looking for those mistakes. Its not the genre of material that's the problem either, I'm constantly catching myself looking for mistakes. As far as published material goes, newspapers are the worst. And then there's facebook - the unruly pit of all things grammatically incorrect. Your and you're, to and too, where and were, ugh... it just doesn't end.

Admittedly, I often interchange 'its' and 'it's' myself - nobody's perfect after all. Facebook, msn, emails, I can deal with; but in published print, stuff we pay money for, that shouldn't happen.

Tales from the laundromat

Apparently, the laundromat can be quite the entertaining place.

Granted, most of the time its pretty boring. Upon entering, doing an initial scan of the patrons, and realizing that the most eligible one has tattoos up and down both arms, wears hoop earrings in both ears and one in his lip, and smells of cigarettes... I usually just find the closest chair and continue reading about Mr Darcy fighting his temptations over Elizabeth while discussing the best ways to kill zombies.

My reading was disrupted this evening as a lady came rushing in and said very loudly for all to hear, 'Is that your car that just rolled out onto the street??!!!'

Obviously, we all jump up and look out the window to see a car sitting crossways in the middle of the street. Tattoo boy lets out an embarrassed laugh and runs out the door - apparently his e-brake failed.

Its amazing though, how, once something dumb happens that has been witnessed by those gathered, everyone who would normally avoid eye contact at all costs suddenly start making small talk.

Speaking of small talk, a little while later, this little girl comes skipping across the parking lot with her mom. She's got a pink mp3 player in one hand and this gianormous set of stereo headphones on her head, she can't be any older than 5, and the cord on the headphones is so long, its pretty well dragging on the ground.

She waltzes in the door, comes right over to me (like, she's pretty much leaning on the arm of my chair), and says 'Hi!'.

(oh great... happy outgoing child...) "Hi, kiddo", I reply.

"Is that your book?"

(did she really just say what I think she did?) "uhh.. what?"

"Is that your book?"

(well, its not yours. The colouring books are over in there in the box) "yeah, I brought it with me"

"oh"

I can now hear her music playing loud and clear through her headphones which she now has in her hand. "Do you know who this is?"

(oh great, a 5 year old who knows more about music than me...) "Nope, who is it?"

"Michael Jackson"

(... where's this kid's mother?) "ooh... cool"

"Do you know how to use an iPod? or, an mp3 player?"

(yay - now this child is gonna ask me to fix her mp3 player) "well, I don't know how to use YOUR mp3 player..."

"Oh. Want me to show you?"

(you've got to be kidding me. honestly, where is this kid's mother?) "uh... sure"

"see, this is where the music plays. And if you pull this out, the music stops! Plug it back into this hole and, see? The music plays again!"

(wow) "wow!"

"Are you here by yourself?"

(woah - what?! I didn't see that one coming. Do I really look so lonely that even 5 year olds can tell?! ouch...) "uh, yep - I came alone." (thanks for pointing that out)

And off she went to dance to her Micheal Jackson in the parking lot - I guess I wasn't exciting enough for her. Oh, by the way, her mother was about 10 feet away doing laundry and didn't seem too bothered that her kid was talking to strangers.

All in all, a decent laundromat evening.

Ow...

I spend a great deal of time every night tossing around in my oh-so-comfy bed. I frequently start out laying diagonally in it, and then throughout the night find myself sideways or sleeping with my head where my feet should be. Its not such a big deal, after all, it is a pretty big bed. But God help the man (husband material only - guys without trucks need not apply) who tries to share a bed with me! hahaha (sucker)

But last night, I woke up to this screaming pain in my shoulder (literally, it was screaming - that's why I woke up. 'AHHH', it said, 'HELP ME, I HURT!' naturally, I couldn't continue sleeping with all that racket). It's not unusual for my shoulder to hurt and wake me up - that tends to be the reason I toss around so much.

On a side note: I have an uncle who had bone spurs or something on his shoulder joint that literally shredded his tendons and cartilage and stuff all to pieces. He had to have some pretty massive surgery which included having a wire mesh sewn into his muscles. I look forward to the day when I hear I have something similar - woot.

Anyway, back to my screaming shoulder. Typical cure for screaming shoulder is to roll over. But upon attempting to roll over in my groggy comatose-like state, I realized I had no arm. Apparently it had just left. No note or anything - just packed its things in the middle of the night and flew the coup! No wonder my shoulder hurt!

Oh, no, wait... THERE'S my arm! Up above my head, all cold and dead feeling, with no ability to move itself if it wanted to. And under the dead weight of that arm lay a crushed and slightly dislocated-feeling shoulder. Ouch.

It still hurts. It has hurt all day. This throbbing, achy, my-arm-is-going-to-fall-off, pain. Figures that it would happen this week what with going hiking this weekend and needing to wear a backpack for 3 solid days. On the plus side, at least I won't be trying to paddle a canoe.

(sympathies and monetary gifts only please)

I've got nothin'

So, here I am, writing a whole lot of nothing cause I don't really have anything exciting to write about. That means you're about to read a pile of random - enjoy!

1. I've come to realize that more of my friends are single rather than married. All those people I went to highschool with, and college with - I mean, these are people in their mid-20's, some pushing 30, and a lot, A LOT, of us are still single. What's the problem? Are we just too picky these days, or have our parents raised a generation of children who are so over the top cautious that we don't know how to risk falling in love? Either way, my list still stands.

2. My big blog survey is almost over. I don't imagine that the results are going to change much in the next hour or so, so I think its safe to talk about it. I laughed today when I saw that one more person voted for 'I read it every day!' - if that's so, how come it took you 2 weeks to vote on my survey? :P And thank you to the person who doesn't know what a blog is; I LOL'd (that means 'Loads of Laughter' in case you're wondering, to which I should post a link to a 22 Minutes episode, but I looked for it once and couldn't find it. I'm sure Tim could point you in the right direction though)

3. Speaking of the 11 people who voted.... I guess at least one of you has an IP address which is constantly resetting itself, which is throwing off my unique user hit count. So, I deleted it. It was nice thinking that 300 people had visited my blog, but it was a little far-fetched. I'll leave my hit counter up, although, probably half of those 1700 hits have been me checking my own blog. How lame is that?

4. I bought a case of beer yesterday. Its the first 2-4 I've had the pleasure of dragging up the stairs into my apartment. Its my summer stock. We'll see how long it lasts (probably some co-relation to how many visitors I get). Its the kind of beer that can only be purchased in Grey County, or in Guelph - but only because so many people from Grey County live in Guelph. That's right. Crystal. Not so much because its good, but because I'm brand loyal. Or something.

5. Work is good (this week). I got a new computer monitor out of the blue yesterday. The amount of annoyed I was about the $$ which was spent on it was considerably less than the amount of happy I was to be getting rid of a dinosaur of a CRT monitor. And yes, I fully realize that my boss is buying my loyalty.
I also started using Quickbooks this week. Its ...quick. Like, ok, for instance, this is what I used to have to do when paying bills:
- code the invoice with proper account numbers and stuff
- write a cheque and cheque stub by hand
-stamp each cheque in the cheque stamping machine
-find boss to get him to sign cheques
-address envelopes by hand
-stuff & mail cheques
-file invoices
-record cheque stubs into accounting program

Now, eventually anyway, ideally, this is what should happen:
-Write cheque in quickbooks
-print
-stuff in envelope & mail
-file invoice

Seriously! I'm so excited! This is exciting! You just don't understand how completely wonderful this is! I'm going to have so much more time to do other work, and play on facebook - I mean... heh heh... do other work, it's awesome. I spend a full day, sometimes more, EVERY WEEK writing stupid cheques - we're talking about cutting that time in half! I'm already stratigizing for my future - could I conceivably cut my work week down to 4 days?? Interesting thought - it'd be like semi-retirement by age 30! woohoo!

6. I was going to go to bed early tonight. And then this blog happened.

POP!

What a difference 4 days makes at this time of year. Late last week, hiking through the woods, all the trees still had their skeleton look to them. Today, there was green popping out of the end of every branch! Its starting to look like a completely different trail.

I read this really great piece of advice the other day about how to avoid blisters so I thought I'd try it out this time around. Duct Tape. Duct tape your heels before you go. The theory is that blisters are caused by heat, moisture, and friction from socks rubbing on skin. Duct tape stops that from happening. Apparently I need a little more practice in proper duct taping techniques - I just ended up with extra large blisters at the edges of the duct tape. ...we'll chalk that one up as a learning experience and try something else in a day or two.

I was also extra cool (read: dorky) this evening and carried my backpack with me. Not too many people carry a pack through Harrison Park, so I got some weird looks. But it was necessary for me to take my gear for a test hike before I head into the woods in two weeks. All in all, I'm pretty satisfied. I think I've got my new pack all adjusted well and my shoulders didn't hurt at all like they do when I wear my crappy old pack. Granted, I was only carrying about 18lbs - not the 30-35 that I'll need to carry on the trip, but its a start. And if nothing else, I should have pretty great posture after carrying that thing around all day!

And apparently we're back down to 3 adventurers for the Killarney hike in August. Once again, if you're interested in being the 4th, let me know.

That's not Great Big Sea...

I just found this on YouTube. Weird.




In other news, "May the fourth be with you!"

It made me laugh:

Happy Birthday Jack!

One year ago this weekend, I went to a fancy car dealership and picked up my very first brand-spankin' new car.
I have never in my life purchased a brand new car, and don't expect I ever will again (something about the expectation of living in some sort of debt for the rest of my life and not being able to afford anything more than a rust bucket on wheels). But for now, I am young(ish) and independent and carefree and, more importantly, have the bucks for a decent reliable automobile*. (That's a BNL reference for you. Not that I'd ever purchase a K Car, even though they were very reliable automobiles way back in 1985, and my parents had one. I think I'll stick with the Toyota thing - its been working for me so far.)

If you know me at all, you know that I don't rush into decisions - especially ones that will cost me $$ every month for 4 years! I knew exactly what I was getting into when I was handed the keys for my brand new shiny car. I had researched it, and drooled over every detail on the website for months before I finally went to take it for a test drive. Picking up my brand new car was awesome and exciting! It had exactly 7km on it, and it was all nicely waxed, and had that new car smell.... ah! And it just felt like a 'Jack' (not that I ever actually call it that, in fact, there was a good 6 months or so there that I even forgot that I had named it - it is just a car after all).

And man! I managed to keep that thing clean for about as long as it remained scratch-free (stupid dog), and now its got a good 33,000km of pure driving adventure on the odometre. Its lost its new car smell over time, but it still makes me smile when I walk up to it and it unlocks itself for me and I get in and push the start button on the dash.

And just think - another 36 months, and it'll be all mine!