Still Alive! ...mostly

I went to work today, which, maybe I shouldn't have done.  A lot of older people come into our office, and the guys frequently have to do hospital visitations...  But, I took the day off yesterday and I was so ridiculously bored that there was no way I could stay home again.  So I did my best to contain myself within my office and not talk to anyone.

Obviously, I'm not incredibly sick.  Certainly not sick enough to go sit around a crowded hospital ER with dozens of other sick people, and absolutely not even close to being sick enough to actually be tested for anything.

That leaves me with the internet.  :)  Oh, Google, how I waste so much time with you!

Well!  Did you know that the Ontario Ministry of Health has an Influenza Self-Assessment Tool??  With tools like this on the internet, who needs doctors!!   Four simple clicks of the mouse later and my result:  'You probably have influenza'  Woo!

Ok, ok, but... how reliable is this?  I mean, this is the same government that's only telling us to go get a flu shot.  Did you know that right here, today, people started lining up for a flu shot clinic TWO HOURS BEFORE IT OPENED!!!  What is the definition of 'terrorism' again?  Panic-stricken masses, what?

So... Let's skip over to a site that has only relevant and accurate tests: Facebook.  I'm sure I blocked a 'do you have swine flu' quiz just yesterday.   ...Ooh, Swine Flu Gifts!  Nice... Alright, back on track; this is research after all!  No time for fooling around.

Ok, here's one:  Do you have SWINE FLU?  The "know it all" diagnostic test to see if your snout is about to drop off!!  That sounds promising!  Plus, it has a cute little pig as the picture.  And the results: 'YES!!! You're fully blown!! -You ears are pussy pink, you have a snotty snout & your tail has lost its curl.... call dr porky immediately' 

Well, there you go!  The tests speak for themselves, you should probably stay away from me for a day or two.  And as always, sympathies and monetary gifts are more than welcome!