Cloudy with a 60% chance of swine flu

My mother asked me the other day if I had decided whether or not I'd be getting the flu shot this year.  Up to this point I've always passed on it and have miraculously survived 28 winter seasons thus far.  Upon replying that I didn't really plan on it, I received the look (complete with raised eyebrow) that only a mother can pull off.

*sigh*

My general feeling of the flu shot is that there is a lot of media hype full of scare tactics meant to frighten people into getting a vaccine for a virus that has already probably run its course and/or mutated long since the vaccine was produced, making it more or less ineffective and a giant waste of money.  The fact is that the seasonal flu shot is only effective against 2 or 3 flu strains each year and there are way more flu strains than that floating around in the air on a day to day basis.  ...Let alone the fact that no one really knows the long term effects of injecting the population with these vaccines - I've heard tell that there is actually mercury in one of the preservative ingredients in the vaccine.  Mmm... mercury.... 

I get it, alright?  I really do.  I understand why people who (a) are more susceptible to illnesses due to underlying medical conditions or (b) people who come into contact with large percentages of the populations (ie: health care professionals) would get the vaccines. 

And then there's H1N1.  Here piggy, piggy, piggy...  Did I hear right that they think that anyone who got last year's seasonal shot might actually be more susceptible to H1N1??  Smooth move there.  I really am sitting on the fence on this one.  There's just so much hype about it - they've almost got me brainwashed.  Plus, that look my mother gave me was just about enough for me to concede and just go get the stupid shot.  Until I read an article from yesterday's paper.

Turns out that they're  (you know, THEM - the smart ones) are expecting that this outbreak (epidemic, pandemic, whatever you want to call it) is going to peak in Grey Bruce within 2 weeks.  TWO WEEKS!!   The school system is already reporting upwards of 20% absentee rates at some schools; my boss already had to shave off his beard so that he can wear a mask properly when he visits the hospital; the hospital has already confirmed 14 cases - and they only test for it if you've got the symptoms AND have to stay in the hospital overnight.  Well guess what kids?  We haven't even received our first shipment of the vaccine to this area yet.  It's not expected to arrive until later this week  (it must have to be shipped by camel from Siberia or something - so much for FedEx!).

*GASP!! IT'S HERE AND WE HAVE NO WAY TO PROTECT OURSELVES!!*   Remember that movie 'Outbreak' about the monkeys and that virus? They just about nuked that town!  We're all doomed!

By the way, when the first batch of it does arrive in the area, it's going straight to old people and health care professionals.  A young healthy person like me isn't even going to have a chance to get vaccinated before it peaks anyway.  I couldn't get vaccinated right now even if I wanted to!

Man!  I feel like I'm living on the edge!

...Is it warm in here?



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Addendum:

Something I have learned in my time surfing the internet is that it is common practise in forums, (those pages and pages of useless editorial knowledge and comments buried in the basement of the internet), to type in blue text when one is trying to convey a sense of sarcasm.  I should probably just start writing in blue text all the time.  For those of you who are new to these pages, or who do not know me very well, I tend to write with tongue firmly planted in cheek 85% of the time.

So, no, I don't actually think we're all doomed. 
Wash your hands.  And if you feel sick, stay away from me. 
End of story.