Won't someone please think of the Children?

AND LEAVE THEM AT HOME!!!

So, I've been playing ball this summer.  On a team.  We have uniforms and everything.

I haven't played ball on a team since I was about 16.  It's good times.  I was pretty rusty at the start of the season, but I'm back on my game now.

It's slow pitch, ('fag ball' as some lewd people like to call it), which is remarkably harder than it seems.  I used to play softball - you always knew where the ball was going to go when it was pitched to you.  In softball a strike is a pitch that crosses over the plate between your knees and your shoulders.  It comes in pretty straight, and it's roughly in the same place every time.  In slow pitch, on the other hand, the pitch is lobbed in (with a minimum 6ft arc) and as long as it lands somewhere on the 2 x 3ft board, it's a strike.  Totally different ball game.

We also pride ourselves in losing every. single. game.  It really takes off the pressure when you know you're going to lose!  It's good fun though.  We're not wrapped up in the score, we're there for the fun. 

And the cold beer.  We've even got a 'club house' overlooking the ball diamond.

It's a great night out with the girls!

Until the children ruin it.

Most of the girls play ball for the very reason to get out of the house, away from the kids or dirty dishes or whatever, and have a fun evening.

Now, I don't mind kids showing up to watch the game - as long as they behave and are supervised.

But it's really hard to concentrate on the ball game when you're standing out in the field and your child is over in the dugout crying.

*sigh*  We had a soccer ball land in the middle of our game the other night.
We had a kid standing on the field.
We had a kid trying to go cry on his mom's shoulder while she was playing 3rd base.
We've had so many kids in the dugout at one time that there isn't room for the players.
We've had the dugout bench fall over on top of a kid on more than one occassion.
We let one kid keep score, but he gets distracted halfway through every inning and screws up the score sheet.
They take over the clubhouse after the game, sit in our chairs, and eat all our snack food.
And they're mouthy.  Not all of them... but some of them.


So, How do you tell a mother to leave her annoying kids at home?