Kindergarten Angst

My boyfriend's nephews went to their first full day of junior kindergarten yesterday.  They seemed to have fun.  Here's to you little dudes!  May the next 15 years of your lives be filled with easy homework assignments and lots of pizza parties!

I have very little memory of my early childhood - heck, I have very little memory of yesterday!  Unfortunately for me, my most vivid memories involve instances which scarred me (both physically and emotionally) and fed my incredible shyness and low self-confidence like the fiery  monsters that they are.  Although I don't wish it on anyone, I'd like to think that this happens to all children, and that we usually come out the on other side as well-rounded and stable individuals.

The year was 1985...
I remember sitting cross-legged on the carpet in front of the teacher with my 30 other classmates.    We were having a discussion about what ingredients we could put into cookies or on top of cupcakes.  Chocolate chips, nuts and raisin had all been covered - now the teacher was testing our creativity!  What else, what else....?

I knew.  I had a great idea!  Ah!  It would be soooo good on top of a cupcake!  And no one else has said it yet!  I've got this in the bag!  Oooh.. should I put up my hand?!  Too shy to say anything for fear of getting the answer wrong and being laughed at (I had yet to learn that adage that 'there are no wrong answers when you're brainstorming' bs), I sat squirming full of excitement and trepidation.  Finally, the teacher eyed me.

"Amy, you look like you've got an ingredient to say", said the teacher.

"MUSHROOMS!", I said excitedly.  They would be awesome in cookies!  But my teacher's face said otherwise.  Starting to worry, my mind started racing.  But... my mom uses mushrooms all the time when she bakes! [editors note: dear Lord, yes, I realize now how bad this sounds!]  I love mushrooms; everyone loves mushrooms!  All white and puffy.  Is this teacher off her rocker?  Does she not know what a mushroom is??  I feel like an idiot!  Panic.

"Mushrooms are good Amy, but I don't think they'd go very well in a cookie."  Shot down by my favourite teacher, I was confused and just a little hurt.  ...but... they're mushrooms....

The very next kid to answer shouted out "MARSHMALLOWS!!".
And the teacher breathed a sigh of relief - not all her students were mentally deficient in the baked goods category, "Yes, Marshmellows would be great!"

But... I just said that, I thought to myself.  That's what I said, he just copied me!  Why is it right when he says it but not when I....

Oh.  Crap.

Had I known what swearing was at the time, I probably would have dropped my first f-bomb right there.  Marshmallows, of course, is what I meant to say, but not what had come out.  Idiot.

I didn't willingly provide an answer in class again until 1998.