Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Beeeeeez

My husband officially became a keeper of bees this week.
It's been a long time coming; it's something that he's been wanting to do for years - long before he and I ever started hanging out together.

You know how I wrote about him having hand, foot and mouth a few weeks ago, and how completely miserable it was for him to have an itchy burning rash all over his hands and feet?  Well, now he comes home with stingers hanging off his clothing, and swollen fingers, and proudly shows me all the places where he's been stung that day - and is really happy about it all!

I got to go see his bees yesterday.  Being pregnant, I have a valid excuse to not get too close to the bees just yet, so I sat nearby and watched him and his beekeeping buddy do their thing with the bees.  It's a very nice spot.  Think: rolling farm fields covered in blooming red clover, a nearby pond, and a bunch of happy worker bees nestled into a grove of trees.  Now, as long as the bears stay away, we'll be good to go!

So what's my job in all this?  Well, eventually, someday, I'll probably have to get close enough to the bees to risk being stung myself and actually do some physical labour.  But until then, I'm the stay-at-home-beekeeping-bookkeeper.  Beekeeping is classified as agriculture.  It's pretty much the only farming you can do without actually having any land.  It also comes with a lot of paperwork and rules & regulations that I've been told I'm in charge of!

Anyway, who knows where it'll go from here.  It might continue to be something small to keep Dave occupied on weekends, or, in 10 years, we might be hauling in a million dollars worth of honey each year!  (Hahaha.... just kidding - it is FARMING after all.  'Profit' and 'Farming' don't usually belong in the same sentence!)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

One Month

I get two comments on a daily basis now:

1. You must be getting excited!

2.  You're not very big...


Ok, for starters, 'excited' and I don't hang out much.  Especially when it comes to thoughts of LABOUR AND DELIVERY, and endless crying, and poopy diapers, and sleepless nights.  You get my point?  It's not exciting.  It's the opposite of exciting.  It's pretty much terrifying.  You can only watch so many YouTube videos to prepare for such a thing!

And no, baby showers do not make it any more 'real'.  Neither does a fully furnished baby room, nor being kicked in the ribs at 3am, nor watching the date on the calendar creep ever closer.  It just really doesn't.  I don't think it will be real until there is a screaming child handed to me and someone says 'this belongs to you', and I say, 'Ok, this is real'.  The other day, I was told by a friend with a two year old that it took her about a month of living in a fog before one day she realized that, 'holy cow, I really am a mother'.  It's just the way it goes. 


And as for not being very big....
I'm really, really sorry?  Apparently, the 45lbs I've gained is invisible to everyone but me.  I feel like a freakin' sumo wrestler!  I surpassed the boob to belly ratio ages ago, and am now working on the belly to toe ratio - you know, that point where you look down and can no longer see your own toes.

Speaking of feet: Cankles are ....awesome?

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Hand, Foot and Ouch

Most people I know have never even heard of Hand Foot & Mouth Disease.  Not to be mistaken with Hoof and Mouth Disease, Hand Foot & Mouth is "a mild, contagious viral infection common in young children (and) is characterized by sores in the mouth and a rash on the hands and feet"

Well, let me tell you, this so called 'mild' virus has had my husband couch-bound for the past 4 days.

It starts with a text message from your husband saying that he has a sore throat.  And then, part way through the day, he gets hit by a truck.  Or maybe he just felt like he was hit by a truck...  Then you come home to find him sitting in a 30 degree vehicle, shivering.  You know right then that it's going to be a long night!

Step two of Hand Foot & Mouth is the fever.  Like a good wife, I made him a nest on the couch so that he could alternate between shivering and boiling in peace while I lonesomely went to bed by myself.  Yeah, yeah, yeah!  Of course I looked after him!  Geez... I brought him water and Gatorade and chicken noodle soup and ice packs and Tylenol all evening.  And THEN I went to bed and left him to suffer alone on the couch.

Step three is tricky.  You start to get a foot rash but mistake it for a sneak attack of athletes foot while your immune system is run down and you're all hot and uncomfortable.  Don't be fooled.  And for the love of all things good and holy, do not, DO NOT, put athletes foot spray on it!  Unfortunately, I wasn't there to see the reaction firsthand, (one of us has to work), but apparently it went from bad to worse in about two seconds as the rash spread and blistered faster than hubby could wash the stuff off his feet.  Definitely not athletes foot.

So, that's two days of your life wasted on this 'mild' viral infection.  Day three is spent laying on the couch, unable to get any sleep, as the rash blisters and burns and itches and spreads.  It then starts to appear on the palms of your hands, and a few other uncomfortable places.  And a search for some relief begins.  We now have a full assortment of creams, ointments, sprays, salts, antihistamines, and other concoctions meant to help sooth and relieve itchy, burn-y, rashes.  Most of which don't work very well.  Funny thing - you'd expect to find some helpful advice on the internet.  But alas, Hand Foot & Mouth is a MILD infection and there is no specific treatment other than a suggestion to rinse with mouthwash if the sores in your mouth get irritating.  Mouth sores are the only thing the poor guy is not suffering with!

Day four is more of the same.  Hopefully, the rash has finally reached it's peak and will start healing now.  But of course, by now his feet are so raw and sore he can hardly walk and the rash on his hands has spread enough that he doesn't want to touch anything around the house for fear of leaving a trail of contagion everywhere he goes. 

The moral of the story is that Hand Foot & Mouth might be a mild virus in children, but it can be a real bugger in adults, so make sure to get your kids exposed to it when they're young!  If your kid gets it, have a party, invite all the neighbourhood kids - they'll thank you when they're older.


What works
Apparently, nothing, really.  I suppose that's why the great Google gods can't offer a decent treatment.  However, through trial and error, Dave has found a few things that offer temporary relief.  If you have found this blog because you yourself are looking for some relief, I promise nothing, but I hope these suggestions help, and maybe you could leave some of your own in the comment section:

- Wrap your feet in ice packs.  Helps with the burning, but leaves you cold after awhile.

- Soak your feet in cool salt water.  Water by itself doesn't do much.  Epsom salt water feels really good while your feet are in it, but dries out the rash too much when you take your feet out - leaving them more painful than before you soaked them.  Try plain ol' table salt in water.  It seems to reduce the red inflammation and doesn't dry out the area too much. Unfortunately, Dave never did find a comfortable way to fall asleep with his feet in a bucket of cool water.

- I had a Shoppers Drug Mart pharmacist recommend Aveeno eczema cream, which seemed to work for a bit, as long as you don't mind reapplying it on every half hour or so.

- He then tried some Lanacane first aid spray with mixed results.  It sort of numbed the pain for quite awhile, but didn't do much for the heat and burning.

- The winner so far is Webbers Vitamin E first aid cream.  It seems to work for a couple hours before he has to reapply it.  Maybe he'll actually get some sleep tonight.


What didn't work
- The same Shoppers Drug Mart pharmacist suggested a product called Buro-sol Antiseptic Powder.  Apparently it's a God-send for people suffering with poison ivy, but Dave's rash wasn't itchy enough to really benefit from it.  It was sort of a *meh* moment.

- Diaper rash cream (15% zinc).  Calamine lotion.  Polysporin.  They feel great going on, but once you stop applying them (ie: after 30 seconds), the burning returns.  I'd like him to try some heavy duty diaper rash cream with 40% zinc to see if that works any better, but we haven't got there yet.

- Tinactin athletes foot spray and cream.  Just.  Don't.

- Any type of cortisone cream.  Dave didn't try this, he didn't have to, it's not recommended for use on rashes caused by viruses.  Something about the steroids in it slowing down the healing process.  I don't know; Google it.  The pharmacist told me 'no'.

Also, even though you're trying to be the good patient and want to clean up after yourself, don't go wiping down the bathroom sink with disinfectant wipes with your rash-covered hands.  You will feel pain.  Lots and lots of pain.



Friday, April 13, 2012

3 Months

Today is April 13th.  3 months from today is July 13th - the 'official' due date.  So, to celebrate, here is another list of stuff that I dislike about this whole process:


1. Mama.  *I* am not 'Mama'.  Not to this baby, and definitely not to you.  My name is Amy.  Please continue calling me Amy.  I hate that word 'mama' soooooo much.  Like nails on a chalkboard, only worse.

2.  The 'due date' conversation.  It goes something like this:
"When are you due?"  "Mid-July."  "Yeah, but, when?  What's the actual date?"
Well, friends, technically, according to the fetal measurements taken by the ultrasound tech (who, incidentally, has absolutely no idea when the 'bedroom party' took place), I will be at exactly 40 weeks gestation on July 13th.  However, it is perfectly healthy and normal for a baby to be born anytime between 37 and 42 weeks gestation.  I know someone who recently had a healthy baby at 35 weeks, and someone else who almost went the full 42 weeks.  There is, in fact, only a 5% chance that baby will be born on the doctor-predicted due date.  So, when I say mid-July, it's because no one knows for sure....

3.  The 'baby just has to be born on my birthday' conversation.  From what I've read, baby probably isn't going to make a grand entrance into the world just because it's your birthday - and I'm certainly not going to try to hold it in for an extra day just for your birthday!  Do you have any idea how popular July is as a birthday month?  There's a reasonably good chance that I might hit one of your birthdays, but I can't please all of you! Take solace in the fact that there are only 365 days to the year and over 6 billion people (or is that 7 billion now?) in the world.  You probably share a birthday with at least one other person already.

4. "Geez, do you even have a bump yet?  When I was pregnant I was SOOOO much bigger than you!"   So?  I'm also 6 inches taller than you.  Do you want to fight about it?  Or do you want me to feel sorry for you?  Really, there's not a lot I can do about it, I promise.

5.  "How much weight have your gained anyway?"  That's really none of you *&^$# business.  I hit numbers on the scale yesterday that I've never seen before in my life!  And it didn't feel very good.  And I'm just going to gain more for the next 3 months.  So, buzz off.  ...and pass me the cupcakes.

Oh, and by the way, sisters-in-law get automatic baby-bump touching privileges (mostly because I can't stop them, even when I promise them that the baby isn't kicking), but NO ONE ELSE DOES!!  Just remember, I'm a raging hormonal pregnant woman - I can kill you now and get away with it!