One Month

I get two comments on a daily basis now:

1. You must be getting excited!

2.  You're not very big...


Ok, for starters, 'excited' and I don't hang out much.  Especially when it comes to thoughts of LABOUR AND DELIVERY, and endless crying, and poopy diapers, and sleepless nights.  You get my point?  It's not exciting.  It's the opposite of exciting.  It's pretty much terrifying.  You can only watch so many YouTube videos to prepare for such a thing!

And no, baby showers do not make it any more 'real'.  Neither does a fully furnished baby room, nor being kicked in the ribs at 3am, nor watching the date on the calendar creep ever closer.  It just really doesn't.  I don't think it will be real until there is a screaming child handed to me and someone says 'this belongs to you', and I say, 'Ok, this is real'.  The other day, I was told by a friend with a two year old that it took her about a month of living in a fog before one day she realized that, 'holy cow, I really am a mother'.  It's just the way it goes. 


And as for not being very big....
I'm really, really sorry?  Apparently, the 45lbs I've gained is invisible to everyone but me.  I feel like a freakin' sumo wrestler!  I surpassed the boob to belly ratio ages ago, and am now working on the belly to toe ratio - you know, that point where you look down and can no longer see your own toes.

Speaking of feet: Cankles are ....awesome?