All Signs Point to Crazy.

I don't often remember my dreams long enough to recount, but when I do, wow!  Do I sound like a crazy person!  If dreaming is genetic, I can safely blame my mother for my occasional night of the crazies - she has had some whoppers herself.

In recounting my dreams from last night, I had this epiphany (which seems so blatantly obvious that I don't know why I've never considered it before) that nightmares are so much more scary than your typical horror movie because the characters are real.  Whereas the people in the movies are just fictional characters with no connection to you or your life, the people in your dreams are actually real people that you know and care about and the threats on them seem real enough to cause a genuine fear for their safety.  A horror movie can only go so far to draw you in, but when people from your real life are involved - ACK!

But I'm jumping ahead of myself...
I don't put much stock into dream interpretation.  For the most part dreams are just those random miss-firings in your brain late at night which can cause some *ahem* interesting stories.

So, I'm driving down a street on my way back to work after a lunch break.  I didn't actually recognize any of the streets though and I accidentally missed the street that I should have turned at.  Rather than turning around, I simply turned at the next street in an attempt to reconnect to my original route.  That street (of course...) snaked around into a part of town where I felt completely lost and I ended up at a road that had the asphalt all ripped up and was under construction.  There was no obvious sign of any construction workers present though, and no cars driving on the road at that moment either, so I took my chances and carefully pulled out onto the road.  Within minutes I had cars barreling towards me and had to do some fancy maneuvering to avoid being hit.  Turns out that the road had been narrowed to a single lane with construction workers on either end directing traffic.  They had neglected, however, to block off the intersecting side streets and unbeknownst to me, I had pulled into oncoming traffic.  *sigh* So, I pulled a U-turn right there in the middle of the road and headed in the opposite direction with the flow of traffic ....all in plain sight of a cop.

The cop follows me but doesn't put on his lights.  Thinking that he chose to ignore my little traffic incident, I relax a bit and and pull up to a stop at a red traffic light with the rest of the vehicles.  At this point, the cop is right behind me, and what does he do?  Right there at the intersection he puts his car in park, hops out, and comes to my window for a chat.  By now, the light has turned green and the rest of the traffic is long gone.

"Ma'am" he says, "Do you know that on August 8 you were clocked on radar going 170km/hr in a 40km/hr zone?"

My heart was beating between my ears so loudly that that I don't have a clue what he said after that - fines, charges, speeding, racing, way more than 50km/hr over the limit, court, license suspension, vehicle impoundment, jail?....  Holy crap!  How? I don't remember doing that.  Why would I ever do that?? How am I going to pay for it?  I don't think my car will even go that fast.  How am I going to get to work? And why did it take 2 1/2 months for them to tell me that I had a speeding charge?

Seems mostly believable, right?  And then the scene changed.

I was at church.  There were a lot of people there - many more than normal.  Lots of kids too.  I was sitting near the front, and it seemed to be at night.  Our church pastor was standing in front of a projection screen telling a story.  I was still thinking far too much about this speeding charge to pay any attention to what he was saying, but I was starting to wonder why the picture on the screen had a cartoon version of a meadow with a bunch of bunnies on it.  And then one of the bunnies started changing shape because it was holographic or something.  Seemed perfectly normal.

He may have been telling a story about some trip he had been on somewhere.  He caught my attention when he mentioned that moose droppings, when placed on an incline will roll downhill at an ever increasing speed without stopping.  Seriously.  That's what he said.

Suddenly, I realized THAT'S what must have happened the day I was clocked driving so fast!  I was driving along at a perfectly acceptable speed and just as I passed the radar gun, a speeding ball of moose poop flew by and threw the radar gun out of whack!  I'm not guilty!  Praise God! 

And then my alarm clock went off.  It was 7:30am and dark, so naturally I hit the snooze button.  I hate waking up in the dark in the morning.  More often than not, I transport myself back to dreamland almost instantly.

Unfortunately for me, my 9 minute snooze turned into 9 minutes from hell with myself, my mother, and my bf frantically running from a big black tornado of doom bearing down on the local Sears store.  This particular dream was cut short by that pesky alarm clock and simply ended in a total state of panic and terror.  What a great way to wake up on a dreary Monday morning!  The ensuing dream related brain haze left me so bewildered that I didn't remember where I was and had trouble finding my own bathroom.  Suffice to say, it was scary.

It's too bad that I don't have a very active imagination while awake, otherwise I could write the next big Halloween horror flick and make millions!