Today I was opening envelopes like I always do. I pulled out a $5 bill, carefully smoothed out the creases to set it down, and noticed something scrawled on it in red permanent marker.
"Amy give back"
No, seriously, out of the possible 600 envelopes that I could have opened this morning, of 150 $5 bills that we shuffled through, I just happened to pick the one that said, "Amy give back".
Coincidence? Yeah, probably. I could certainly push it off as just that - a random, meaningless, coincidence. There are plenty of 'Amy's' in the world; I'm sure that the author of the note had intended it for someone other than myself. Coincidences happen all the time, and they're just that, coincidences.
But here's the thing, it's just one more thing to pile on top of the things that have been lingering in the shadows, waiting for me to act.
The tired Sunday School teachers who have been burning through the last of their energy trying to give a lesson to a bunch of kids who'd rather not be there, while I sit there with a head full of camp songs that could spark some life back into things.
Amy give back.
The increasingly 'missional' sermons being preached from the pulpit. The messages that resound with 'we are the hands of God; go, do. Be the light in the community.'
Amy give back.
The local playground where my kids love to play. With it's run down toys and burned out committee that's out of ideas for fundraisers and has lost touch with how to get the community involved.
Amy give back.
The people who come to the door at work looking for groceries and someone to listen to their story.
Amy give back.
The local emergency housing program that advocates for, and supports the homeless within our community.
Amy give back.
The local soup kitchen that has lit a spark within the community to make sure that everyone has access to a hot meal 5 days a week.
Amy give back.
My kid who loves to play t-ball but isn't old enough to play on an organized team. All the other kids and parents in the neighbourhood whom we haven't even met.
Amy give back.
All the local farmers, and producers, and entrepreneurs who are trying to eek out a living selling their wares at farmers markets that I never attend.
Amy give back.
The entire idea of 'Third Place' where people long for, and need, and thrive, with not just two places in their lives (work and home), but also a third place where they can be social and find community.
Amy give back.
The horrible, horrible, horrible shootings and attacks that have been taken out on innocent, beautiful, loving people, that have left me frozen; unknowing what to do, how to respond, what to say, or how to comfort.
Amy give back.
It all points in one direction: building community. Love your neighbour.
It's so easy to say 'I don't have time for that.' 'My life is too busy.' 'Not right now.'
I don't know... I woke up the morning of my 36th birthday and noticed for the first time just how many grey hairs are starting to highlight my head; maybe this is my midlife crisis. Maybe I'm starting to feel the need to make an impact. Maybe I don't want to waste my time doing meaningless things. Maybe I'm just hungry for community and a better sense of self.
All I really know is that if I wait for opportunity to come to me, I'll be long dead before I ever make an impact. It's now or never; it's time to stop saying 'no', it's time to be involved, to start something.
Amy give back.