Kindergarten Angst

My boyfriend's nephews went to their first full day of junior kindergarten yesterday.  They seemed to have fun.  Here's to you little dudes!  May the next 15 years of your lives be filled with easy homework assignments and lots of pizza parties!

I have very little memory of my early childhood - heck, I have very little memory of yesterday!  Unfortunately for me, my most vivid memories involve instances which scarred me (both physically and emotionally) and fed my incredible shyness and low self-confidence like the fiery  monsters that they are.  Although I don't wish it on anyone, I'd like to think that this happens to all children, and that we usually come out the on other side as well-rounded and stable individuals.

The year was 1985...
I remember sitting cross-legged on the carpet in front of the teacher with my 30 other classmates.    We were having a discussion about what ingredients we could put into cookies or on top of cupcakes.  Chocolate chips, nuts and raisin had all been covered - now the teacher was testing our creativity!  What else, what else....?

I knew.  I had a great idea!  Ah!  It would be soooo good on top of a cupcake!  And no one else has said it yet!  I've got this in the bag!  Oooh.. should I put up my hand?!  Too shy to say anything for fear of getting the answer wrong and being laughed at (I had yet to learn that adage that 'there are no wrong answers when you're brainstorming' bs), I sat squirming full of excitement and trepidation.  Finally, the teacher eyed me.

"Amy, you look like you've got an ingredient to say", said the teacher.

"MUSHROOMS!", I said excitedly.  They would be awesome in cookies!  But my teacher's face said otherwise.  Starting to worry, my mind started racing.  But... my mom uses mushrooms all the time when she bakes! [editors note: dear Lord, yes, I realize now how bad this sounds!]  I love mushrooms; everyone loves mushrooms!  All white and puffy.  Is this teacher off her rocker?  Does she not know what a mushroom is??  I feel like an idiot!  Panic.

"Mushrooms are good Amy, but I don't think they'd go very well in a cookie."  Shot down by my favourite teacher, I was confused and just a little hurt.  ...but... they're mushrooms....

The very next kid to answer shouted out "MARSHMALLOWS!!".
And the teacher breathed a sigh of relief - not all her students were mentally deficient in the baked goods category, "Yes, Marshmellows would be great!"

But... I just said that, I thought to myself.  That's what I said, he just copied me!  Why is it right when he says it but not when I....

Oh.  Crap.

Had I known what swearing was at the time, I probably would have dropped my first f-bomb right there.  Marshmallows, of course, is what I meant to say, but not what had come out.  Idiot.

I didn't willingly provide an answer in class again until 1998.

"Instead of Burning..."

Not that I want to dwell on the subject, because quite frankly I think we can all be a little immature when the subject turns to religion, and who's is best, but... I happened across a blog post on Facebook this morning that falls in line with what I've been trying to say all along.

Brian McLaren is a very well respected pastor/writer/theologian/speaker in the evangelical church, and a forerunner in exploring the Christian faith in a postmodern world. 


Essentially,his blog and my thoughts intersect at these points:  How can we judge either the Koran, or the Bible, without having actually taken the time to read it and learn about it?  How can we fairly judge another religion if all we're ever doing is comparing our best aspects against their worst aspects?  And why would we bother taking offense when one is burned?  If you're carrying your holy text around with you on paper, then you're doing it wrong.  Your holy text should be carried with you in your mind and in your heart - that way it can influence your life and your interactions with others.  A paper copy is no more than a reference book, and an easily duplicated one at that.  The bible is apparently the best selling book of all time; I'm sure there are millions of copies of the Koran floating around too.  Go ahead and take my paper copy, tear it apart, burn it if you must; it can easily be replaced.  I'll probably be a little annoyed at you, but it's not going to ruin my day, or my faith, because I carry around the essentials with me, within me, and the rest I just Google!

Brian's whole blog post can be read here:  "Instead of Burning, try Learning"

Maybe a little better use of your energy?

By far, the best comment I have heard regarding this whole Koran burning thing went something like this:

If these idiotic religious extremists (the ones who fly planes into buildings, and burn books/flags, kill people, or play with little boys) would focus their energy on something useful like feeding starving children, or helping the homeless, or drilling wells in Africa, this world would be a much better place.

Ain't that the truth.

Because of a comic, I have learned that Emily Dickinson's poem, "Death", can be sung to the tune from Gilligan's Island.  I now have a new found appreciation for poetry.

Here, try it yourself:


Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, he passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.